It is a choice. And it is life-changing.
It doesn't change circumstances; it doesn't give you answers like the "all-knowing" 8-ball. It simply makes good things amazing and painful things more bearable.
For example, I am super-duper, Scooby-dooby-dooooo proud of how well my son can read. The concept of phonics, letter sounds & relationships, grammar & puncuation, and even proper voice-inflection has come to him as naturally as his Jedi abilities (or, as I like to think, he gets it from his mother.) And this is great. But let's add some gratitude, shall we? And suddenly, "my boy can read well" becomes:
What an incredible gift that will last a lifetime! Eric is now able to read information, absorb it, and store it away forever! Who knows what he will read that will become pertinent in his life down the road! I am so thankful that God blessed him with such a sharp mind! And how fantastic is it that I get to watch a whole new world open up to my Noodle every time he figures out a new word! We have been blessed with caring teachers, a wonderful & safe school, and an infinite amount of books (read The Book Thief to appreciate this). Every single day.
On the opposite end of the spectrum is gratitude in the midst of pain/despair/adversity. And it goes without saying that this can be hard. Like, hard. It goes against every angry, screaming, tear-filled fiber of our being. Most of us have visualized our pretty, manicured hands introducing itself to the side of some unhelpful smiling face as it spews every disgusting, "silver-lining" cliché Hallmark ever created. (Resist the urge.)
But here's the thing - anger, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. It's a valid emotion just like joy, love, sadness, and disappointment. But anger has a tendency to make us think or do bad things. Feeling angry with God is a common scenario, and He allows that of us. What He doesn't want is for us to curse His name and lose our faith in Him. Similarly, you may be driving and see your ex-boyfriend or an ex-best friend who hurt you so deeply that "accidentally" plowing into them in your car seems completely lucid and reasonable.
More personally, my marriage and subsequent divorce have been the single-most awful things I've experienced in my life to date. I felt a lot of things during those times; "good" was not one of them. In the later years, anger and bitterness...hate...were my constant companions regarding that specific relationship. On the surface, I still seemed like a great wife, doing all the "wifey" things I was supposed to. On the inside, I was anxiously waiting for one of the {many} phone calls from the police to tell me he was finally gone. One of his selfish decisions finally turned and laughed in his face and dropped an Acme anvil on him.
This is not healthy thinking. There was no gratitude then. But it is an honest glimpse into my head/heart that time.
People who have met me post-divorce have expressed surprise in how I "turned out" when they become aware of what that part of my past consisted of. And I don't bat an eye when I tell them I am most definitely not the same person I was then. That experience chiseled me into the woman you know me as today.
And I needed to go through that to be able to succeed after it. And I am thankful for that. Thankful for being independent and being comfortable with what some people mistook for " being alone". For being given the gift of learning from another's mistakes (and my own). For being able to tell when someone truly loves me and being able to love them fiercely in return. For being able to use Jesus' example in response to some of Eric's hard questions. For the chance to watch the incredible web of support being woven beneath me by my family by simply being themselves.
Do I still have bad days? Oh yeah. Am I now this individual overflowing with rainbows and butterflies and giggles? Uh...no. Am I a silly girl surrounded by love and blessed beyond all reason in spite of herself? And am I thankful for that?
Are Hallmark cards overpriced? ;)
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