Here's just a couple of examples of Adam's insanity:1) I wasn't allowed to have any friends but him. Not my girlfriends who I'd been friends with long before him, not any new ones I made as I moved onto college (which was just ridiculous because he and I ended up in different cities), no one. If I spent time with anyone but him, he sent me on an "all expense paid" guilt trip by telling me that I was "putting our relationship in the back seat". Don't be fooled--he didn't use that phrase the way most guys do, with a smile on their face and their friends crowded around. Oh no. It meant I wasn't putting us as Priority #1 and because of that, our relationship was suffering. Believe me, that's not why our relationship was suffering. It was suffering simply because it still existed. I couldn't see that it was more appropriate to compare it with an animal that had been hit by a car and was dying slowly on the side of the road than it was to compare it with any other actual relationship. My friends and family did what they could to put us out of our misery, but somehow (and for some reason) we clung to life.
2) Adam was on his way to my house one day when he was in an accident. He was fine, but his car was totalled. To him, this was devastating because he had put so much work into that white El Camino, but I was glad to see it go. As a huge gift, his parents bought him a spankin' new Honda Civic, loaded. It was beautiful. And as a gesture of his appreciation, he refused to let them drive it. I'm not kidding. Adam would freak out if his mom came near it. (I'm still looking for the bottle of pills I just know he was hiding from me.)
3) I think one of the examples that best shows his character is something that happened after we were engaged. (Don't judge me!) Adam invited me to a formal banquet his college held annually. He asked me to try to do my hair this one particular way he liked. And I did try. I tried until I almost made myself late, but as hair does sometimes, it just didn't cooperate and I settled for a happy medium of what he wanted and what it would actually do. My mistake was that I thought he wouldn't care that much. Wrong. Adam was quite upset that I had neglected to fulfill his wishes of what he wanted my hair to look like. Thankfully, we had to leave, so he couldn't dwell on it for too long. Then after we arrived at the banquet, one of the most horrific moments of my life was set into motion. Adam had gotten down on one knee in front of his entire college and asked me to marry him. My brain talked me through the steps that a young woman should mimic once a ring is presented to her and I did them perfectly (I'm still waiting on the Grammy). But inside, I have never heard myself scream so loudly. I was almost sure everyone else could hear my horrified thoughts. "Noooooooooooooooo!" was the only thing I was thinking as I somehow managed to form the word "yes". The rest of the evening was shot. I was spinning so crazily then that I don't remember much of the rest of that day. Which, as I think about it now, was probably ok. Odds are it wasn't pleasant because I was still with Adam. Anyway, as our engagement continued, I began looking for a dress. And I found one I loved. My mom loved it, too. It was perfect. I wouldn't show Adam, but he asked me if it was the one he liked from a catalog he showed me. I said "no" and that was it. He almost didn't want to marry me because I didn't get the wedding dress he wanted. Yes, that's a really good reason to not want to marry your fiance: she just wouldn't be worthy walking down the aisle to be your wife in some other dress than the one you specified you liked. I might as well have had a lover on the side. At least I would be wearing "his" dress.
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