Happiness Multiplied by Tutu

I talked to my sister today.

LoriAnn.

We emailed back & forth a little and shared enough information that warranted audible reactions. So I called her on my way home...one of the benefits of a foggy 25-minute commute.

She's one of the small handful of people who actually believe me when I tell her I'm happy. She doesn't second-guess, there's no "Are you really?" dripping in pity.

She celebrates with me!

Over the course of 30 years, some people pay off their homes. Some celebrate their child's college graduation. Some welcome their 18th grandbaby.

Over the course of my 30 years, I have become happy with who I am. I have learned my worth.

I do not have everything figured out; I still struggle with mommy-guilt; I am still foolishly impulsive about some things; and as much as I'd like to imagine myself as the prima ballerina delicately floating through life, I know I'm a closer match to Ace Ventura in a tutu at the mental institute.

I have had to be told I am worthless for me to actively search for reasons that I am. And I found them. Some I found simply out of spite. But that "spite" turned into a firmer handshake, better posture, and direct eye contact. And, honey, I don't think I have to tell you that confidence is impossible to ignore.

A girlfriend of mine made a comment a week or two ago that stuck with me because it made me uncomfortable - "Go anywhere and you'll see men look right at you...and you'll see women looking at the ground." I'm not that girl.

I've learned lots of things when interacting with people, especially when meeting them for the first time. But two are currently most prominent:

1. Men are surprised by my quick wit and ability to communicate intelligently.
2. Women are surprised that I'm not the bitch they assumed I would be.

I try to present myself in ways that clear both of those things up quickly so I don't miss out on an amazing relationship. Because when I love you, I tell you. Because none of us have time for anything less, do we? (And don't use the "luv u" or "love ya" or any other sissy-la-la nonsense - SAY IT FOR REALSIES. Own it. You have nothing to lose.)

My home is a place of love, sarcastic eyebrows, boundaries, laughter, frustrated questions, and ninja weapons. And I am providing for the 3 little personalities who live here with me - the ones who see all sides of me and know that just because the high heels come off, my worth doesn't.

Know that you have something to offer everyone you come in contact with. Every single one. It sounds so "blog-ish" to say this, but it is absolutely true. And because you hold that power, you are valuable, even beyond being valued by the "regulars" (family & close friends & those adoring pets).

I read a quote by a child who, upon being asked what he noticed about adults, responded with, "They seem grumpy." And then I died a little inside because HE'S RIGHT. We don't need another person to be happy (someone please tell this to the matriarchs of my church), and you know what they say about mo' money. My remedy for the Common Adult? Smile so much your cheeks hurt like Flight Attendant Barbie, laughing is even better (burns way more calories), dance a little every day (in your car, in your kitchen, on the dance floor - just do it), and when someone shares their good fortune with you - CELEBRATE WITH THEM. Be that valuable person to them while making them feel valuable.

And then walk around meeting people's gazes with an infectious confidence that dares them to get to know you.

(Unless it's a French model you met on the internet who is now trying to meet your gaze right outside your window. Then assess how valuable you are and confidently dial 911.)