The Best Little Friend Who Ever Lived

"Oh, she did NOT de-friend me. She totally de-friended me. Who does that? It's like breaking up in a text! There's some common decency usually assumed with these kinds of things, isn't there? And, like, WHAT did I ever do to her? You know what? It's fine. Whatever. Her loss. I'm amazing and she's doing me a favor by sparing me her boring, self-absorbed status updates. I win! YA HEAR THAT? I win!!"

Bleh.

This very dignified inner-monologue somewhat, kinda, sorta happened to me a few months ago. And my initial reaction was pretty close to the above. But approximately 1.4 seconds later, I genuinely didn't care. This particular gal, by way of previous actions & personal decisions, made sure that this was not a loss to me. She had excused herself away from my life with a metaphorical "I need to use the restroom" (a.k.a. Yeah...we should do lunch... or something...sometime...) and never came back.

I was a little irked by all the time I had spent seeking her out, forcing her into hugs, inquiring about her life and responding sympathetically when I could. But I never received any of that in return. (In her defense, people don't usually have to force me into a hug. I usually wonder why they don't hug me harder. Seriously, Dead-Body Hug is a bazillion times worse than Dead-Fish Handshake.) But all that left me with a strong peace of mind that if she didn't want to be my friend, it wasn't because I wasn't being one.

Please be a boating babe with me when we're 68.

Lately, say, within the last year or so, I've experienced the ripening of some deep relationships, the forming of new ones, and the conclusions of others. Some are still in grey areas as we speak, both still feeling each other out in the current states of our lives, wondering if this person will bring delight or drama to our worlds, where we connect, where we differ, and if those complement or curse the other. It's all very delicate, you see.

But.

We endure the balancing act, the checks and balances system, because we long to connect. To feel desired. To make memories. To feel important. To contribute to another life. And to be worth contributing to.

And what a risk it is, to put that kind of power into someone else's hands. And, equally as intimidating if we give it a moment's thought, that someone would entrust that power to us.

A brief overview of a small handful of the current relationships in my life:

• A long-time friend; relationship developed quickly after assumptions were proven false; to love her is as easy as breathing; she makes me want to be a better person; my heart is safe in her's; my sunshine.
• One of my longest friendships; cracks beginning to show due to an outside source...a poor decision; so much has been shared that the idea of losing this relationship takes the breath from my lungs; my alter-ego; could make me laugh like no one else on the earth; I miss her and she hasn't gone anywhere.
• A friendship only about a year old; many laughs shared, but I sense tears just below her surface; I wrestle with whether or not to ask; so much drama in such a short amount of time; seems a pattern is rising to the top; destructive; I want to be there for her, but I'm worried it may have to be from a distance; not much return on my investment; it doesn't have to be like this.
• Brand-spankin-new friendships, that are really decades old already; why didn't we find each other sooner; sharing so much; such acceptance; tears of laughter and of pain have been shared already; free to be me; we are contributing to each others' lives; differences complement; so many beautiful qualities that we, ourselves, do not possess, but are now free to enjoy through each other; thankful; is it too soon for the "L" word?

 I'm going to go ahead and assume you have someone in your life that means a lot to you.

Tell them.

Take the fragile power they've placed in your hands and do something amazing with it. Make it huge. Decide to grow it into something they never imagined. A safe place, where hearts & arms are wide open and lips are sealed.

Tell them.

Be the best friend who ever lived.